Mixing Money and Marriage

Find yourself at odds with your spouse about how to spend your hard earned money? Although no one likes to admit to being materialistic, we all are. How can we not be? Our entire society runs off one thing…money. We need it to put a roof over our head, food in our bodies and function in this world. With something like this playing such a huge role in our lives it is bound to come up in our relationships.
Jessie Sell, a marriage and family therapist with a private practice in Durham, NC believes in using an interpersonal approach with her clients, meaning the better relationship between her and the client, the better the success. Over the last 12 years Jessie has worked in a variety of settings including higher education and non-profit agencies. Now she works with couples hoping to overcome issues in their relationships. To find out more about Jessie Sell you can visit her website or call 919-225-3478 for an appointment.
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Relationship Resolutions

At the start of a new year, many people try to set goals for themselves, their relationships, and their families. With the highest of hopes, they plan for the best and most positive possible outcomes. The problem, however, is that some people sometimes set their expectations a little too high and then become frustrated and overwhelmed when they don’t accomplish everything exactly as they had planned. And then some things, like relationship resolutions, are given up on altogether.
The reality is that couples and families can sometimes be overcome with all of the little things life has in store- work, kids, taking care of other family members, and other pesky responsibilities. In many cases, couples don’t cherish and nurture their relationship and end up taking it for granted. They don’t realize it’s an entity that needs cultivating and developing just like anything else.
Today, our guest, Dr. Susan Orenstein of Orenstein Solutions in Cary, NC will be discussing how couples can use the New Year as a way to motivate themselves to set goals as a team. As a licensed psychologist and the director of Orenstein Solutions, Susan says it’s the perfect time for couples to take stock of their relationships, clarify their goals as a pair, and come up with a good action plan for 2013.
To find out more about Susan and her practice, visit her website or call (919) 428-2766 to schedule an appointment.
Check out Susan’s Pairs Workshops here, and be sure to find out more about the PAIRS App for your iPhone, iPod Touch or iPad.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download Tagged as: couple, goals, motivation, new year's resolutions, pair, problems, relationship resolutions, relationships, resolutions, setting goals
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An Appetite for Love

Are your intimacy issues to blame for those extra pounds that you’ve put on? We’ve heard of couples who begin to pack on the pounds when they are in a committed relationship and feel comfortable with each other, but there may be an underlying reason to this new weight gain. Our guest today will let us in on how the ups and downs of our relationships can effect our eating habits, as well as how to prevent those unnecessary binges.
Karen Koenig is an expert on the psychology of eating. For over 30 years Karen has been working to help troubled eaters, who have been stuck in a cycle of dieting and bingeing, to break free and access a healthier lifestyle that will keep them at a healthy weight for life. Karen has a double Master’s in Education and Social Work. Karen is the international  author of four books that focus on eating and weight, including Nice Girls Finish Fat, The Rules of “Normal” Eating, The food and Feelings Workbook, as well as What Every Therapist Needs to Know about Treating Eating and Weight Issues.
Karen’s free Facebook app, called APPetite, will be available this online this month. Karen also moderates a Yahoo Food and Feelings board, as well as a weekly blog for Gurze books.Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Enough Talk: Loving Without Saying a Word

For couples dealing with relationship problems, in many ways, actions speak louder than words. Partners often want more attention and affection from each other, and a lack of such can make them feel misunderstood or neglected. Many couples will argue about the little things because they don’t know how to communicate the deeper issues. Oftentimes, relationship partners don’t realize that there can be a sacred level of communication between them that comes without saying a word.
When it comes to the verbal side of things, some couples get caught up on what they intended to say and the words they used, rather than understanding the impact of their non-verbal cues, like body language and tone of voice, and their actions.
Sometimes frustration finds a way to creep into these situations, and especially when couples feel that they’ve said everything they can to make a point. Today’s guest, Dr. Susan Orenstein, says there is a way to quell the anger and frustration that builds up. As a licensed psychologist and the director of Orenstein Solutions in Cary, NC, Susan sees a wide variety of these communication problems and strives to help couples improve their relationship without saying a word.
To find out more about Susan and her practice, you can visit their website or call (919) 428-2766 to schedule an appointment.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download Tagged as: actions, actions speak louder than words, body language, communicating, couples, loving, marriage, marriage communication, non-verbal cues, speaking, talking, words
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Talk to Me Like I’m Someone You Love

Does it feel like even when the fights between you and your partner are over, that things aren’t really resolved? Do you feel like you just aren’t connecting?
Dr. Nancy Dreyfus joins the show to explain why superficial resolutions don’t fix the underlying problem, and to share an approach that will give you the right words to deeply connect with your partner during even the worst argument.
Nancy is a psychotherapist and couples therapist with over twenty-five years of experience, and is the author of Talk to Me Like I’m Someone You Love
, a unique book and relationship tool that can help partners in an argument express their feelings and needs in a productive way. You can find her online at NancyDreyfus.com, and can purchase her book from Amazon.Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Project Happily Ever After

Is your marriage no longer magical, but just plain miserable?  Does it feel like you’re trapped with no way of fixing things, to the point where you’re fantasizing about divorce, or worse?  Alisa Bowman returns to the show to discuss her upcoming book, Project: Happily Ever After – Saving Your Marriage When the Fairytale Falters
, a personal account of her marriage at its worst and how she and her husband managed to put the pieces back together.
Alisa keeps up a blog at ProjectHappilyEverAfter.com, and has been featured on news shows and in publications across the country.  Her book, which comes out December 28, can be preordered from Amazon.com, and will be available after its release at all major booksellers.
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10 Humorous & Helpful Hints for a Happy Marriage

No one makes such a great commitment, like marriage, with the assumption that they will one day end up as anything other than happy. So what is the key to a happy marriage when small squabbles and large debates muddy the waters of your love? We often don’t consider these issues unless they’re directly affecting our own marriages. Is it possible to turn a bad situation around when we’re being reactive to a situation rather than being proactive?
In a lot of cases, many little issues add up to become one big issue. If you can identify what some of those “little things” are, you can make any necessary adjustments in your marriage that can help you stay happy as a couple. But how exactly do you work to discover what these problem triggers could be?
Dr. Tina Lepage shares 10 of the humorous secrets to staying happily married from a marriage counselor’s perspective. Tina is founder of Lepage Associates in Durham, North Carolina, where she specializes in couples and marriage therapy. To find out more about Tina Lepage and her practice in Durham, NC,  Lepage Associates, you can visit their website or call (919)572-0000 for an appointment.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download Tagged as: Funny Marriage Tips, Humorous Helpful Hints, Marriage Advice, Marriage Tips, Top 10 Marriage Tips
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I Bet You Think This Marriage is About You

There’s a lot of good information out there to help a troubled marriage survive, but when it comes to a marriage in which one spouse suffers from narcissism, there are very few resources available on how to make it work. Some statistics suggest that many troubled marriages contain one partner who has some degree of narcissism – and the outcome is fairly predictable.
When one spouse thinks that the marriage revolves around him or her, it causes extreme stress on the entire marriage. Usually the other spouse recognizes the problem, repeatedly tries to fix the issues and, unfortunately, is unable to change things.
Often, a marriage with this kind of stress will easily collapse but John O’Donoghue believes there are solutions. In many cases, he suggests the most important factor for change is the ability to understand how the narcissistic partner thinks and the willingness to accept it.
John O’Donoghue is a marriage and family therapist with John O’Donoghue Therapy Services in Raleigh, NC. John specializes in providing psychotherapy to individuals, couples and families. He helps people understand what life is like with a narcissistic partner and works to try to make marriages successful when one spouse is narcissistic.
To learn more about John and his practice, visit his website or call 919-341-2477 to make an appointment.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download Tagged as: couples, Happy Marriage, marriage, Marriage Therapy, Narcissism, Narcissistic Partner
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5 Skills to Improve Your Relationship

Imagine you were asked to fix a leaky shower. Now, maybe you have all the proper tools and equipment but how could you possibly use them successfully if you don’t have the knowledge or the skills to actually do so? What you might not realize is that you do, in fact, possess the necessary tools to improve your relationship but you just need to hone the skills required.
One of the biggest relationship blunders many couples encounter is the inability to communicate effectively with each other. When communication and interaction become issues within a relationship, most of the time, the partners have a hard time expressing their individual needs clearly to the other. And when negative communication interactions and patterns develop over time, couples may begin to feel a sense of hopelessness or loss. While it might seem a little challenging at times, there are skills you can develop and work on to improve your relationship.
Today’s guest is licensed professional counselor Dr. KaRae Carey from Cary, NC. She helps couples and families gain an understanding of the importance of communication while providing tips and tools to begin improvement. According to KaRae, with 5 simple skills, your relationship can also improve and start to thrive.
To find out more about KaRae and her practice, visit her website or call (919) 454-7857 to schedule an appointment.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download Tagged as: communicating, communication, communication skills, improve you relationship, improving, listening, marriage, marriage skills, relationship, relationship skills, skills
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Creating a Couple Vision Statement

Do you sometimes feel like you and your partner aren’t working toward the same goals in your relationship? Does it seem like you’re just not on the same page with each other?
Dr. Carol Ummel Lindquist, a licensed Clinical Psychologist in Laguna Beach, California, joins us to discuss how creating a “Couple Vision Statement” can help you and your partner understand what you both want and bring you closer together.  Carol has been practicing for thirty years and recently retired as Professor Emerita from California State Fullerton.
You can find out more about her and her guidebook, The Happy Couple Handbook
, at DoctorCarol.com.Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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The 3 Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage

Does it seem like the most serious arguments you and your partner have are always rooted in the same few things? Are you at your wit’s end from having the same arguments over and over?
Dr. Tina Tessina returns to the show to talk about her book Money, Sex, and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage
. She explains how some of those constant stresses in life can turn into big stresses on your marriage, and what you can do about it.
Tina is a licensed psychotherapist in California with over thirty years of counseling experience. She’s written over a dozen books, and hosts a radio show and a relationship blog. You can find her only at TinaTessina.com, and her book Money, Sex, and Kids
can be purchased from Amazon.Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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The Nine Phases of Marriage: Understanding the Phases of Marriage

Statistics show that 85 percent of single women can’t wait to get married– but do they really want the whole package? We already know that women have vastly different expectations of marriage than men do so it should be no surprise that men don’t always live up to those expectations. Throughout the phases of marriage, however, many things can change.
As many as 70 percent of wives express unhappiness and dissatisfaction in their marriages over time– which is a pretty big number. Is that just part of the natural cycle that marriages go through, or does it signal a larger issue? When women are dissatisfied, what do they do about it?
This episode, our guest has the answers to these questions and can help explain why couples experience these cycles. She also has some tips on marriage– how to make it, break it or keep it. Susan Shapiro Barash is the author of 13 books, including The Nine Phases of Marriage
. Susan teaches gender studies at Marymount Manhattan College and helps women understand the issues they face during marriage.
To learn more about Susan Shapiro Barash visit her website. Visit BookTrib to find out more about Susan’s many publications.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download Tagged as: Changes within a marriage, Dissatisfied couples, Happy couples, Phases of Marriage, The Nine Phases of Marriage
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Holidays From Hell

Around the holidays, like Thanksgiving and Christmas or Hanukkah, couples and families tend to feel additional stress because of all the added pressures and expectations that surround the season. Pesky things like extra work hours, long shopping lists, children out of school and extended family coming to visit can sometimes add worry to what’s supposed to be a joyous time.
During the holiday season, it’s very easy for schedules to become hectic and for every day situations to get chaotic. A time that should be happy and blissful often becomes confusing, and can leave couples feeling overwhelmed and helpless. But there is hope. It can be possible for couples and families to get on the path to enjoying each other and time together during the most stressful of times.
Our guest today, Dr. Michael Howard of Healing Solutions Counseling Center in Charlotte, NC, says the holidays don’t have to be stressful. Along with a few tips and pieces of advice, Michael explains the common triggers of holiday stress and discusses how to mellow them.
To find out more about Michael and his practice, visit his website or call (704) 944-5530 to make an appointment.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download Tagged as: children, Christmas, family, Hanukkah, holidays, in-laws, marriage, stress, tension, Thanksgiving, tips
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How To Win Your Wife’s Heart Forever

Ever feel like you can never say or do the right thing in your wife’s eyes? Do you aim to impress and end up only causing her stress? We have the keys to making the special woman in your life smile! From remembering the little things, like anniversaries and birthdays, to planning a romantic getaway. We have the secrets that you’ll need to make your other half happy.
Dr. Steevie Jane Parks currently runs her own private practice in Carrboro, NC and has been helping couples with issues for more than 20 years. Equipped with a degree in Clinical Psychology from the University of Maine, Dr. Parks shares with us the secrets of making your wife happy. You can find out more about Steevie by visiting drsteeviejaneparks.com.
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10th Anniversary: Reflections of a Marriage Counselor

Does 10 years of marriage seem like a piece of cake, or have you made it through the first ten years and wonder if you’ll make it for another 10?
Dr. Tina Lepage returns to the show to let us behind the curtain of what a marriage counselor’s relationship is like and shares what she has done to keep her marriage strong for a decade.
Tina is the founder of Lepage Associates, where she focuses on personal and professional relationship issues, as well as children and family therapy, and personal growth. You can find out more about Tina and her staff by visiting her website at LepageAssociates.com, or by calling her office at 919.572.0000
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Dealing With Depression

If you or your spouse suffer from depression, you already know how hard it can be on both of you. Maybe you feel like you don’t know how to handle your partner’s depression, or on the other hand, maybe you don’t think your partner is really understanding what you’re going through. How do you continue to relate to each other when negative feelings can’t just be pushed aside?
Colette Segalla, a psychologist with Lepage Associates in Durham, NC, is here to discuss what depression feels like to partners on both sides, and what you can both do to keep your relationship strong in spite of it.
You can find out more about Colette by visiting LepageAssociates.com, or by calling 919-572-0000 for an appointment.
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I Don’t Want A Divorce

Today’s world is one of instant satisfaction and gratification. We want what we want when we want it. Before we know it our interest quickly fades and we are bored with our latest toy. In a world that teaches us out with the old and in with the new, how can anyone expect a marriage to last when it’s no longer shiny and new?
Dr. David Clarke joins us to share his experience in turning around marriages that are on the brink of divorce. David’s book, I Don’t Want a Divorce: A 90 Day Guide to Saving Your Marriage
, uses his 20+ years of experience  helping couples to get beyond the old destructive habits and build brand-new habits with your spouse in only 90 days.
David has authored an additional 9 books. He has a Master’s Degree from Dallas Theological Seminary, a PhD in Clinical Psychology and 25 years in private practice specializing in couple’s therapy. To find out more information about Dr. David Clarke, including seminar information, you can visit his website at http://www.davidclarkeseminars.com/. David’s book is also available for purchase on Amazon.com.
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How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free

Have you ever felt suffocated in your relationship? Perhaps you feel like you and your spouse are always fighting. It would seem as through the fights and arguments have consumed your relationship whole! No matter what you do, you can’t seem to escape from one argument before you’re in another brawl with your spouse. When you are stuck in this seemingly endless loop, the best person to call on could be your spouse.
Dr. Tina Tessina, a licensed psychotherapist who has been practicing marriage and family therapy in California for over 30 years returns the show this week to discuss her book “How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free”. Tina has been featured on Oprah and Larry King. She has her own radio show and online blog. Tina has also authored over a dozen books, including “Money, Sex and Kids”, as well as “The Commuter Marriage” which have been featured on our site previously. You can find out more about Tina by visiting http://www.tinatessina.com/.
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The Pitfalls of Protective Parenting

Is your overprotective parenting hurting your child and damaging your marriage? Before we had government agencies in place to advise us on what was good or dangerous for us, we only had one way of finding out this information…through first hand experience. Bumps, scrapes and broken hearts were all part of the novelty that is childhood. However, like anything else, with enough information this has gone away. It seems like parents today want to protect their children from the ails of the world and prevent them from experiencing any of it. This “over parenting” could be harming your child more than helping them. Does your marriage have what it takes to overcome this?
Edie Raether, a self-proclaimed “Change Strategist” is an international keynote speaker, relationship and parenting coach, as well as a bestselling author of several books, including Sex for the Soul
and Stop Bullying Now. Focusing on a child’s role in a family unit became a passion of Edie’s. So much so that she developed a character building program from children called “I Believe I can Fly!” As a behavioral psychology expert, Edie has been a psychotherapist, hypnotherapist and marriage and family counselor for 30 years and has addressed all relationship, behavioral, health and healing issues. To find out more about Edie Raether you can visit their website or call 704-658-8997 for an appointment. For information about child entitlement and bullying, visit her Stop Bullying Now website.Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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The Suspicion is Killing Me

Do you obsess over suspicions of your spouse’s infidelity (either physical or emotional)? Dr. Nicole Imbraguglio returns to the show do discuss the reasons why we harbor suspicion towards our spouses and why some people are more likely than others to be bothered by it constantly. She also illuminates the difference between a healthy amount of suspicion that can be helpful in identifying issues before they become problems, and when it crosses the line to become a problem that can hurt the marriage.
Dr. Imbraguglio practices with Lepage Associates in Durham, NC and helps both adults and children with a wide range of emotional issues. She has provided counseling for individuals, groups, couples, and families. You can learn more about Nicole at LepageAssociates.com, or by calling 919.572.0000
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The Secret to a Happy Life

Have you ever wondered if there was some secret to a happy life and blissful relationship? We have the answers you’ve been looking for. We spend a large portion of our lives dating and trying to find the person that matches us perfect; someone who we’d be willing to share the rest of our live with. We put so much effort into getting this process right because it is such an important part of our life and our future. Dr. Tami Kulbatski believes that a strong relationship with a significant other is the single most noteworthy contributor to our happiness and life satisfaction. Her insight and tips will help increase the level of positivity in any relationship.
Dr. Kulbatski holds a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology and is registered with the College of Psychologists of Ontario. Dr. Tami Kulbatski runs a successful private practice in Toronto, Canada and she is the founder and director of the Toronto Centre for Positive Psychology. In her private practice, Dr. Kulbatski provides psychotherapeutic treatment for a diverse range of clients, including couples, individuals and adolescents.  Through her Centre, Dr. Tami provides evidence-based courses, lectures, seminars, and workshops to enhance people’s movement towards a greater well-being and happier, more fulfilled life. Dr. Kulbatski recently published a book called “Ten Commandments for Couples”
, which is available on Amazon. In her interview, Dr. Kulbatski reveals how to get a free sample of one of her 10 Commandment contributions from her book.
To find out more about Dr. Tami Kulbatski you can visit her website. For more information about the Toronto Centre for Positive Psychology please visit them online or call 416-708-7022 for an appointment. To get daily tips on increasing the level of happiness in your relationship you can “Like” the Toronto Centre for Positive Psychology on Facebook.
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H.U.G. & K.I.S.S. Hierarchy

Is your inability to read your partner ruining your relationship? We’ve all stumbled into those relationship traps where it can feel like we’re constantly sticking our foot in our mouths. Anything we say or do seems to land us even further into hot water with our spouse. Perhaps you’ve been stuck in similar situations in the past? Relationship coach, Dave Elliott, thinks that the only tools you need to solve this problem, for now and ever, are a hug and a kiss.
When it comes to making sense of the often mystifying topic of relationships, Dave Elliott is an international Relationship Coach and human behavior specialist who breaks down complex concepts into easily understandable principles and practices. With his deep understanding of human motivational psychology, Dave helps people pull back the curtain in a non-judgmental way on why they and their partner do what they do over and over again. Dave travels around the nation working with groups and individuals supporting Anthony Robbins, one of the world’s foremost authorities on peak performance psychology. In 2011, Dave was honored as a Man of the Year candidate for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society. Dave joins us today to talk to us about how your relationship can be saved and revitalized using his H.U.G. & K.I.S.S. Hierarchy. To find out more Dave Elliot and the H.U.G.S. & K.I.S.S.E.S. program you can visit Relationship Fix Now or Legendary Love For Life.
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Add Spice to Your Love Life

Is your relationship lacking the necessary spice to keep you going? We all hit a plateau in our relationships. Maybe we’re sick of our routine. Maybe the sex has gotten boring and stale. Whatever the cause, we have the solution. Our guest today, Dr. Judy Kuriansky, has all the answers you need to spice up your relationship and make sex exciting again.
Dr. Judy Kuriansky is a woman of many accomplishments in the field of Clinical Psychology. Dr. Judy works as a certified sex therapist, couples counselor, marriage counselor, writer and professor. Dr. Judy  is an internationally respected psychology who teaches at Columbia University Teachers College and is an honorary professor at China’s Beijing Medical School. Dr. Judy has been featured on many radio and television shows, including Oprah, Larry King Live, and CNN. She runs workshops and seminars for public and professional groups worldwide on dating, love and interpersonal relations. Dr. Judy is also the author or many relationship-focused books, including: Generation Sex
, The Complete Idiots Guide to a Healthy Relationship, The Complete Idiots Guide to Dating, as well as The Complete Idiots Guide to Tantric Sex. In her free time Dr. Judy is humanitarian and peace activist. Her band has played for the Dalai Lama and as an NGO representative for the United Nations she has helped educate others on HIV prevention. To find out more about Dr. Judy Kuriansky you can visit her website or call 212-307-6771 for an appointment.Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Can Your Marriage Survive Betrayal: The Guide to Battling Betrayal

When we were in school we had teachers who sat us down every day, year after year, and passed along piece after piece of information for us to retain and use as functioning adults.Well, that was then and this is now. Who is there to teach us the life lessons we need as adults? Who is there to be our teacher when it feels like our entire world is crashing down around us?Some form of intimate betrayal is a common fear among couples. From those who cause the pain to those on the receiving end, couples are unsure of how to battle the betrayal and come out on top. Kathy Cato is educated in Marriage and Family Counseling and has a private practice, TriVista Counseling, in Raleigh, NC. Kathy is trained in the Imago and Gottman methods of couples counseling and is founder of the Holding Hands Program, a counselor-hosted meeting series that works to resolve problems and strengthen relationships through open communication and integrates individualized online assessments of each couple. Kathy has helped hundreds of couples work through betrayal in their marriages. In this episode, Kathy will share her ideas about betrayal and whether it can be overcome.To find out more about Kathy Cato, visit TriVista Counseling online or call 919-710-7145 for an appointment.Podcast: Play in new window | Download Tagged as: affairs, betrayal, cheating, couples counseling, marital betrayal, marriage repair, overcoming betrayal, reparing marriage
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Relationship Cure: 5 Things to Help Strengthen Your Marriage

Is your busy work schedule, kids, or financial issues making it hard for you and your partner to feel connected? Is trying to keep up with everything and everyone just weakening your marriage? Stephanie Ladd joins us to discuss how couples can re-ignite their marriage and overcome the lull of long term relationships.
Stephanie Ladd has been practicing Marriage and Family Therapy for 17 years. Before moving to the Chapel Hill/Carboro area she practiced  in California. For several years Ladd has run communication skill groups and parenting classes. You can find out more about Stephanie by visiting saladd.com or by calling (919) 883-9093.
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It’s Complicated: Facebook and Your Marriage

Lately, Facebook has been all over the news and on many people’s minds. But does it feel like this tool for social connection is actually driving you and your partner apart, or are you worried about its potential to do so? K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky join the show to discuss how Facebook and other social networking sites can affect your marriage, and how you can use it as a positive
tool for communication.
Jason has been writing on marriage and leading training programs in marriage issues for over a decade. He and Kelli have been married for over fifteen years, and together, they’ve been writing articles on marriage since early 2009. Having faced many of the questions about Facebook and marriage firsthand, they’ve been featured on various shows and publications as  “The Social Media Couple,” and have published a book together on the subject called Facebook and Your Marriage.
You can find them online at SocialMediaCouple.com, and their book is available on their website or through Amazon and other booksellers.
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Creating a Passionate Relationship: Not for the Faint of Heart

In the midst of keeping up with the demands of modern life like paying bills, maintaining a household and career and raising a family, it’s easy for a couple to let go and lose sight of their once intense and deeply satisfying connection. When that goes on for too long though, it becomes harder for the couple to stay in it for the long haul. And when the spark goes out, which it is bound to do at some point, many couples settle into a functioning relationship instead of working to create and maintain a passionate relationship.
In the beginning, couples make long-term commitments to each other in hopes of experiencing deeper levels of connection and passionate engagement. What they often forget, and sometimes ignore, however, is the importance of nurturing the relationship and keeping the passion alive on a daily basis and for the remainder of their lives.
Today our guest is Dr. David Aspenson, a licensed psychologist who practices in Chapel Hill, NC. David is a big believer in creating and maintaining an enduring passionate relationship, and he’s here to discuss some of the challenges that are associated with preserving the passion. While it seems like a no-brainer, David says it certainly is not for the faint of heart because it takes much effort. Sound intimidating? Worry not. It is, in fact, possible for all of us.
To find out more about David and his practice, visit his website or call (919) 402-9212 to schedule an appointment.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download Tagged as: commitment, intimacy, intimate, long-term marriage, marriage, passion, passionate, passionate couples, passionate marriage, passionate relationship, self-validating intimacy
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No Wimpy Parenting

Sometimes It can seem like instead of you and your partner running the house, the kids are the ones calling the shots. Are you giving in too often and too easily? Dr. Kristin Wynns joins us on the show today to discuss the importance of holding on to parental control and how websites like No Wimpy Parenting can help families.
Dr. Wynns has a private practice in Cary, NC and specializes in therapy for children, adolescents, and families. Dr. Wynns’ practice is the catalyst behind the No Wimpy Parenting website. You can find out more about Dr. Wynns practice and services at her website, http://www.wynnsfamilypsychology.com/, or by calling her office at 919.805.0182.
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The Days of Wine and Roses: When Your Partner Drinks Too Much

Imagine meeting someone new. You start going out on romantic dates- dates that maybe include a bottle of wine, candles, roses, the whole nine yards. Initially, the alcohol acts as an intimacy and romance enhancer. It helps you both loosen up, relax, and enjoy yourselves. But what happens when down the road the alcohol becomes toxic? Sometimes stress and tension build up and eventually it’s one partner who drinks too much, too frequently.
When one partner begins to develop a drinking problem, the other might start to feel like the alcohol has taken top priority in the relationship. Any little bit of consumption could start to be a bid deal, and the partners could begin to withdraw from each other, creating an even bigger issue. With communication mishaps and increased fighting, oftentimes married partners don’t know how to go back and fix the issue.
Today, Dr. Julia Messer is talking with us about how to handle this issue if and when it arises. As a licensed psychologist with Orenstein Solutions in Cary, NC, she helps couples and individuals develop practical coping solutions for many different challenging situations.
To find out more about Julia and her practice, visit their website or call (919) 428-2766 to make an appointment.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download Tagged as: advice, alcohol, alcoholism, drinking, drinking too much, marriage, relationships, Substance Abuse, tips
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Avoiding Critical Mass

Does it seem like your fights with your spouse turn explosive on a regular basis? Do you often find the argument reach the “point of no return”? Kristin Wynns, Ph.D., returns to the show to talk about how to avoid the critical mass in a relationship and keep the arguments from getting explosive and hard to resolve.
Dr. Wynns has a private practice in Cary, NC and specializes in therapy for children, adolescents, and families. You can find out more about Dr. Wynns practice and services at her website,www.wynnsfamilypsychology.com, or by calling her office at 919.805.0182.
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Don’t Let Your Marriage Go Into a Recession

Are money issues making you feel like your marriage is bankrupt? Money issues pop up in every marriage at some point and when the economy is in a recession, these problems are intensified.
Many people expect their spouses to have exactly the same view of spending and finances and have difficulty accepting the differences in their spouse’s approach to the bank account. Dr. Nicole Imbraguglio joins us to discuss what factors cause issues with most couples and why they create problems regardless of how comfortable a family is financially.
Dr. Imbraguglio practices with Lepage Associates in Durham, NC and helps both adults and children with a wide range of emotional issues. She has provided counseling for individuals, groups, couples, and families. You can learn more about Nicole at LepageAssociates.com, or by calling 919.572.0000
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Discovering Your Amazing Marriage

Ever felt like ending your marriage after a bad argument or affair? There could be a better solution. Marriage is one of the best and worst things you will ever go through in life. From arguments, lifestyle changes, children and even infidelity; there never seems to be a rule on how exactly you should handle each of the different events that life throws at you.  Wouldn’t it be nice to have a “go-to” couples who’d be through it all before?
Jason and Debby Coleman have been happily married for 22 years. They’ve been through it all. They’ve dealt with infidelity, lifestyle changes, children, and anything else that life could throw at them. Instead of giving up and walking out they decided to work through their issues and record their solutions into a book called Discovering Your Amazing Marriage
, now available on Amazon.com. To find out more about Jason & Debby Coleman you can visit their website at http://www.youramazingmarriage.com/.Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Working With Your Spouse

Do you and your spouse work in the same field or business – maybe even in the same office? Do you feel like you can never really get away from work even when you’re at home, or are clashes at home bleeding into your work?  Dr. Julia Jacobs joins us on the show to discuss the things couples experience when working together, and how you and your spouse can minimize your personal conflict both in and out of the workplace.
Julia has a Doctorate and Masters in Clinical Psychology, and practices with Lepage Associates in Durham, North Carolina. She’s experienced in individual, couples, and group therapy for people of all ages. You can find out more about her online at LepageAssociates.com, or call her office at 919-572-0000 to set up an appointment.
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How to Live Happily Ever After

Has your fairy tale marriage turned into a nightmare? Ripped from the pages of Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice
we’ve been made to believe that happily ever after is possible. People spend years looking for their perfect partner and come to find that all the spark and je ne sais quoi that had attracted them to their partners has now fizzled into an unhappy marriage. Family therapist, Lesli Doares, doesn’t believe in having only two choices: either remaining in a miserable marriage or getting a divorce; Lesli believe in happily ever afters.
Leslie Doares is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Cary, NC. In her practice, Balance Family Therapy, her focus is on helping couples build strong, secure relationships. It is her belief that marriage is a different kind of relationship and, with the proper tools and techniques, most couples can have a happy and successful relationship. Lesli bring both her personal experience and professional training to her work with couples. Her passionate belief in marriage has led to the development of a five step theoretical approach that Lesli detailed in her book Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage: How to Create Your Happily Ever After With More Intention, Less Work
.
To find out more Lesli Doares and her practice you can visit the Balanced Family Therapy website or call for an appointment at 919-924-0463. Lesli’s book, Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage: How to Create Your Happily Ever After With More Intention, Less Work,
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Common Marriage Issues and Fixes

Married people seem to always have a lot of things that they have to go through to make their marriages work. Most couples may have an idea about some of the difficulties that they will face when they are married and for some reason, through the haze of romance and other sweetness, they tend to fail to see the bigger picture; and the bigger picture is that marriage is really very hard work.  It is not as if you can just say your vows in front of your chosen holy man and forget about it after.

Remember all the effort that you put into your relationship to ensure that it ended in marriage? Well, you have to put the same amount of effort into your marriage to make sure that it does not end up in divorce which is anything but romantic as you may very well know.
So what causes problems between couples? There are a lot of factors actually but one must surmise that it is the lack of effective communication between married couples that causes a lot of tension and in turn a lot of fights which may affect the couple adversely. Sure some bickering is healthy for married couples but when you find that you feel resentment towards your partner and that it festers for a while, then that stops being healthy.
Do not let this alarm you however since there are plenty of marriages that go through rough patches and yet somehow manage to work through it.  Not all marriages that experience troubles end up in divorce. You just have to keep in mind that you have to talk things out. You may choose to get a marriage counselor so that he or she can help you open the lines of communication and you and your partner can hash out the things that are bothering you.
You may be having money problems or maybe your kids are starting to affect your marriage in a way that is not productive. Yes, money seems like a trivial thing to fight over but times are tough and the lack of money brings about a lot of stress that may have serious ramifications on your marriage. Yes, kids are a blessing but once they bring about their own sets of stress, you will have to deal with the stress that they bring about. Just remember you and your partner can go through whatever that is that you are going through.

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Tips to Prevent Frequent Fights at Home

Fights at home are really unhealthy for you as well us to all other family members. If you are having kids they will be the most affected lot. There are many easy ways to stop fights at home. The first requirement is to stop open arguments. Arguments are not the best way to maintain a healthy relationship. Fighting at home should be avoided at all cost. Peace in the family can bring in many positive changes in your life.

You can cut a fight in the middle to avoid tension in the family and in your mind. You can stop a fight before it grows into full blown. Teasing your partner in front of other is not a good thing. Avoid calling nick names that your partner does not like. A disagreement can turn into fight if it is not tackled properly. You should not take disagreements personally. Nick names that are not liked by your partner can be unproductive and can become hurtful to your partner.
You should not blame your partner for everything and anything happening in the family. If something has gone wrong nothing can be done with blaming each other. It is better to understand the cause for the problem first. Blaming each other can result in a fight. Nothing can be gained. When you are blaming your partner they will be suddenly put in a defensive stand. This will prompt them to turn off their listening skills. A negative line of thoughts will be generated leading to an active fight.
You should avoid raising your voice level beyond your conversation tone when there is a disagreement. Avoid conversation when you are getting hostile, defensive, or frustrated. Give a five minute break that you get cooled mentally. Tell your partner that you are not in a good mood. You need time to collect yourself. If your partner continue to frustrate you it is better to leave the place immediately.

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How to handle a nagging husband?

Problems inside the family can cause stress to all family members. You can have a positive life by avoiding problems with your partner. A nagging husband is a problem to the partner. It can be dealt with some small tips. Tensions in the family can be due to many factors like finances, outside influences, and unexpected expectations. Such tensions should not be personalized. You should find acceptable outlets to let off the tensions. The wife is often the recipient of unspent anger and frustration of the husband.

Nagging is a bothersome process. It can be irritating. Something has to be done to stop nagging from the husband. In most cases wife is the victim of the nagging husband. It is easy to handle if you are not dealing with are overemotional or aggressive person. The situation depends of how it is bothering the partner. It is easy if both of the partners are ready to work on solving the problem.
In some situation nagging is the only thing that the husband does to you. The root of nagging comes from the mind of the partner. This affect partners in different manner. Some of them are able to sustain it by ignoring them completely. The degree of nagging varies from repeated verbal or non-verbal bashing. Physical atrocities can also happen in certain situations.
The first attempt should be done to pacify the situation. If the partner is ready to solve the problem then things can be turned positive in very short time. After calming your partner things can be discussed in a rational manner. Once you can stop nagging for some time never return to the same behavior again. You should understand why small problems are taken as a big deal. The issues from a bad childhood or bad previous experiences can be the root cause of the problem.

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What Couples Fight About

Married couples surely do face a lot of problems in their everyday lives and there are some problems that are easier to face than others. Whatever the problem may be, you have to make sure that you deal with it in a timely manner so that you can fix them before they escalate and become worse. By dealing with your marriage woes head on, you make sure that you nip any bigger problems in the bud and you do not end up with a problem that you cannot fix anymore. Remember that you are married and that your marriage should be your number one priority and not something that stays at the back burner while you attend to other things.
When couples no longer talk to each other and find out what is going on with each other’s lives, there is a communication breakdown, and once there is a communication breakdown between a couple, you can bet that plenty of things will go on and most of those things will usually be bad. When you do not communicate, you will find that you will be arguing about things more often; sometimes, you will not even know why you are arguing, but just that you are and this could be a very frustrating thing to experience.

One other thing that couples argue about is money. Do you know that this is one reason that so many couples break up? If people only took the time to talk and find out what is really going on, no one would have to break up. But the thing about arguing about money is that it normally, it is rooted in other things and not just about money. It could be about a power struggle, it could be about the different values that each person holds and stuff like that.  Nowadays however, people are living in tough economic times and the stress of money may bring about plenty of other stressors that may not necessarily be directly related to money.  It may seem like such a trivial matter to fight over money and break up because of it; but when you pair the stress that money related things bring along with a communication breakdown, then you know that you will be in for a world of hurt. If you are having money related problems, it is important that you keep the lines of communication working so that you two lessen the problems that could arise.

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Fixing Those Pesky Marriage Problems

A lot of people who dare to get married should be given an award. It is not so simple to get married you know, because you are promising to spend the rest of your life with that one person. Well sure, to get married may be simple, in fact you can fly off to Las Vegas and get married in a jiffy but perhaps, it is staying married that is the real test for most people. If you care to take a look at the divorce rates, you will find that this is indeed true.

But what really causes people to split up? There has to be something that can be done in order for married people to stay together and when you think about it, if they were brave enough to get married, shouldn’t people take the time to fix any problems that they may have when they get married? It shouldn’t be enough to just opt for divorce or for splitting up; if you get married to someone and you start developing problems, then you can be sure that it is also worth the time and the effort to fix said problems.
One of the biggest reasons why couples break up is that they start to take each other for granted. You see, when you get married, you sort of depend on that other person being there and then you get caught up in the monotony of everyday life that you stop treating each other in ways that lets the other person know that he or she is special. This is one way that most marriages die off. This, taking your partner for granted, can also stem from the fact that you already know your partner very well. Thus, you never bother finding out if there is anything out of the ordinary that is going on with your partner. It is by doing this that you sort of lose touch with each other. One way that you can fix this is by becoming curious about your partner and actually taking the time to find out what is going on with them. There really is no better way to do this then by simply putting everyday things on hold and taking the time to be together and do things that you both like so that you can once again reconnect with each other and find out what is going on with each other.

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Money, Children and Marriage

Marriage can be one of the greatest joys in life but when your marriage stops becoming a fairytale and starts to feel the stress that life has to offer, how do you keep it together? It is not easy to keep a marriage going mind you and if you ask couples who have been married for decades, they will tell you that in order to keep your marriage strong, it really takes a lot of hard work and dedication to keep things going especially when the going gets rather tough at times.

One way that you can make sure that your marriage does not go sour is by talking. That may seem overly simplistic but it is when you keep the lines of communication open that you and your partner will avert major disasters in your marriage. A lot of people forget that they have to effectively communicate to make things work and that is why you, now that you know about how effective it is to keep the lines of communication open, should avoid this common marriage pitfall.
You may also want to know about how money affects marriages. Money is another thing that may seem trivial to you but do know that it is a fact that a lot of marriages often end because people do not know how to handle money related issues in their marriage. It is maddening to think about how often times, when couples argue about money, they are actually arguing about other things and not really about money. They may be arguing about their different values and they may even be having a power struggle and money just sort of becomes a symbol. You should not be unwilling to talk about the real issues that you are arguing about and just use money as a buffer or you will never solve anything.  There are times when money really will be an issue because as you know, times are tough nowadays and this when communication really becomes important so that you can discuss the many things that are affecting your marriage in a negative way.
Kids can also become a problem. While they may bring you joys, they can put a strain on your marriage in ways that you cannot imagine. Again, children are wonderful gifts but they can certainly strain a marriage in a lot of different ways that a couple may not even realize and they may not know how to deal with.

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Marriage Problems and Your Role in Fixing Them

Have you ever attended a wedding or have you been married yourself? Looking at a whole wedding may mislead you to think that most marriages are all so shiny and flowery and magical when the truth of the matter is that staying married must be one of those things that people really have to work hard at for their marriage to work. You see, so many things could get in the way of a marriage making it through the years. So many factors that can make things go sour and you do not even know that they are contributing to the stressors that affect your marriage.

One thing that could be causing your marriage to get rocky is, well, yourself. Take the time to look within yourself and ask if the problems are coming from you rather than just blaming your partner. Ask yourself if maybe your constant gambling or your constant drinking may be putting a strain in your marriage and don’t just assume that if your partner is working out that automatically means that your partner is cheating on you. Maybe they are just getting in shape so they can kick your butt when your gambling lands you in the poorhouse or your drinking starts to take their toll. But really, all that kidding aside, you will be empowered once you discover what you are doing to create problems for your marriage and you can then help your less enlightened half do the same with themselves.
Next thing that you have to do is to own up to your emotions and stop blaming your frustrations on your partner. What does this mean? Well, you know how sometimes you claim that your partner frustrates you or makes you angry? Why not take the time to look at why you are angry in the first place? Your partner may be making a perfectly valid point and you are such a mean drunk that you do not even notice that your partner is making perfect sense when they tell you that you really need to go get some help for your drinking problem. Your emotions are your own and you have to deal with them and not blame your partner for everything that goes on in your messed up little head.
Another factor that could be ruining your marriage, are the in-laws. Oh yes, they can be wonderful and supportive, and they could also be cold and just plain awful. There are ways of dealing with them or you could just ignore them all together.

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Saving Your Marriage: Is It Time to Get Out?

A lot of marriages are worth saving, but when it is a marriage that is abusive, then it is about time to consider that instead of thinking of ways to saving your marriage, that it is time to get out.
If there are children involved, the children get abused all the same, even if it is just the wife or the husband who gets the physical abuses. The children get traumatized over what they see the other parent is doing to the other and it is a trauma that can never be forgotten. Worse, the children of physically abused parents end up as physical abusers themselves in a lot of cases. Not because they want to or were forced to, but because they were brought up that way and know no other way.

Physical abuse is one inexcusable act of violence to any spouse. A wife or husband who thinks that the abusive spouse is only being expressive is actually acting in denial and fear, fear that if they leave the relationship they will not have another loving one. The brain washing of abusers run deeply and it is a sorry fact that a lot of spouses actually defend their abusive spouses.
Men and women of abusive marriages are broken not only physically but emotionally and mentally. They could not learn to cope with any other type of relationship even if they try. And that is the actual tragedy. More and more people who get out of an abusive relationship only fall into another that is also abusive.
Health care workers, policemen and counselors all see the damage of a physically abusive relationship and they encourage the spouse to get out before it is too late. No matter what others say who want the marriage to stay together despite the abuse does not good to the abused spouse.
If you are in an abusive relationship, get out. There is no saving what cannot be saved. And no, the abusive partner will never change.

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Marriage Problems You Need To be On The Look Out For

Often times, when couples face some troubles in their marriage, it could be a very tense time for them and yet, while things may seem bleak as of the moment, you have to believe in the fact that no matter what happens, not all marriages that go through that patch will end up in divorce. It really just depends on the way that you handle the problems that you have; you have to know that no matter how difficult it may be, there is a way that you can fix it. You just have to make the effort and be brave enough to face your problems head on.

One problem that really plagues most marriages is the lack of communication. This is the sort of breakdown that could lead to more problems for the couple. If you think about, so many problems can be averted if only couples actually took the time to talk and make sure that they are on the same page. You have to make sure that you are in sync so that you do not have any misunderstandings and that you always are in the same groove. You may not always like what you will hear from your partner but at least you know what is going on and that is how you avoid mistrusts.
Another thing that really comes in between couples is money. Oh money, you can’t live with it and you can’t live without it. It is a sad fact that stress and money is one reason that couples often fight about and it may seem shallow and petty but that is in fact the truth. Speaking in general of course, when couples fight about the subject of money, you can bet that there are usually deeper issues that they are really fighting about. You can look at money as just a symbol when in fact they are fighting about things like having different values; maybe they are having a power struggle and plenty of other issues that are just tied to money.
However, given these tough economic times, the stress that finances bring about can cause even more stress in general and this results in more fights with things that are no longer related to money, in addition to quarrels about money related matters. It is tricky and it is indeed very sad but this is in fact something that couples have to deal with.

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Saving Your Marriage: Why did you get married?

Before we go to the subject of saving your marriage, one of the most basic questions that should be asked of any couple is why they got married in the first place. There had to be a reason, right? Was it love? Was it arranged? Was it based purely on physical attraction (and we are not talking about physical chemistry between bodies here, we are talking about attraction to the material physical things)? Was it based purely on a habit that you could no longer break because of what others may say? Was it based purely on sexual attraction? Was it based on an unexpected pregnancy?



There are so many other questions, but these are what first come to mind when someone is asking for help in trying to save a marriage. There are also times when it is only one half of the couple who thinks that they need to fix things even if there is nothing to fix in the first place.

When thinking about problems going in a marriage, one must always ask the questions on why it was committed to in the first place. Because, unfortunately for the insecure and immature, marriage is a commitment and is not something that you can just jump into and say you want it undone because you made a mistake. No matter what you reason out, a marriage is a contract that was agreed upon by both parties and validated in the face of the church and the law. Marriage is not just a piece of contract; it is a part of life.
If you feel that you need to save your marriage, these questions should be first answered. And if the answers are positive then it is worth the effort, but if the questions all point to a negative start, then unfortunately, the end may be nearer than you think, for a marriage based on the physical and stupid actions of the immature was not a reason to get married in the first place. There is nothing to save for there is nothing positive to base its saving on.

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