Balancing Children and your Marriage

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Do you ever feel like there are not enough hours in the day? Sure, we all say this, but it seems with each passing day our plates are loaded with more and more activities that we have to try and cram in. Remember the good ole’ days where you had time to go out to a nice dinner date with your loved one? Those were the days pre-children. Once children came into the picture, time seemed to fast-forward. We no longer had time for ourselves, let alone our spouse. All too often this is an issue that plagues many couples. The romance and marital bliss seem to deteriorate once children enter the equation. However, according to Dr. Julia Jacobs, this does not have to the be the case.

Dr. Julia Jacobs has a doctorate in Clinical Psychology and practices with Lepage Associates in Durham, NC. Julia has experience working with individuals, couples and groups of all ages. Most importantly, she has experience with couples who have children. You can schedule an appointment by visiting www.LepageAssociates.com or calling 919.572.0000.

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Keeping May-December Romance In Season

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Is the difference in age between you and your partner causing tension in your marriage?  Is it getting difficult to deal with others’ perceptions and opinions of your relationship?  Colette Segalla joins us to talk about both the challenges and benefits of relationships between partners of significantly different ages, and to tell us how you can get the most out of your marriage.

Colette is a therapist with Lepage Associates in Durham, NC. She’s had extensive training and experience working with people of all ages, and has also had specific training in the field of adult relationships, using an integrated approach to help couples overcome both their individual and relational problems to improve their relationships. You can find her online at  LepageAssociates.com or call the office at 919-572-0000 to schedule an appointment.

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How Are You and Your Partner Attached?

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Do either you or your partner have anxieties about your relationship?  Are you uncomfortable getting too close?  The way you each feel and behave in your relationship may actually be linked to your individual attachment styles.

Psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine joins us to talk about the the theory behind Attached, a new book about adult attachment theory that he co-authored with Rachel S. F. Heller.  Amir is a graduate of Columbia University with his own practice in Manhattan, and is presently working at Columbia as a Principal Investigator on a research project sponsored by the National Institute of Health.

Attached can be purchased online from Amazon or from any major bookseller.  You can find out more about the book and about Amir by visiting AttachedTheBook.com.

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How to Avoid Speed Bumps in the Relationship Road Trip

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Let’s face facts, no relationship is perfect! In the “relationship road trip” there are potholes, speed bumps and road kill that all couples have to try steer clear of. More often than not, when we have stopped paying attention, we run into something we didn’t mean to hit.  The best way to protect yourself, and your spouse, is to spot the troubled areas on the road ahead, before you hit them head on.

Dr. Karen Sherman joins us to discuss how to set expectations and enjoy your relationship to the fullest.  Karen is a licensed psychologist in New York and has been in private practice for over 20 years. Karen focuses on relationship and marriage counseling and how to help people achieve their greatest potential. Karen is author of “Mindfulness and The Art of Choice: Transform Your Life” and the co-author of “Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last”.  Karen is a featured author on such online forums as Yahoo Personals, ThirdAge.com, and HitchedMag.com.

Karen’s books are available on Amazon.com. To find out more about Karen you can visit her websites, www.ChoiceRelationships.com or www.DrKarenSherman.com.

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The Science of Love

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Is human nature to blame for your lackluster relationship? Sometimes we get so preoccupied with the hustle and bustle around us that we forget we are only human. We too are animals at the base of it all. The innate instincts that we all possess can do anything from save our life to end our relationship. Our guest today has insight into how things like our brain activity and physiological functions can affect our relationship.

Chad Jordan, of Systemic Health Resources in Raleigh, NC, has been working to help couples in a different way then most other psychological professionals. Chad works with the psychological and relational resources that emphasize the interconnected nature of the human condition. Chad is a North Carolina native having received his Bachelor’s in Psychology from UNC and his Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy from Appalachian State. To find out more about Chad Jordan and Systemic Health Resources you can visit their website at or call 1-800-755-6309 for an appointment.

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The Post-Wedding Marriage

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Think about your wedding day. Whether you’ve had it, or it hasn’t happened yet… Oftentimes, and especially in a society like ours, there’s a lot of pressure to make the wedding day perfect. To make sure everything is in order, to make sure the dresses are ready and the suits are pressed, to make sure the flowers will be beautiful and that all the guests will leave thinking, “hey, that was a really good time!”

But what about after the wedding? What happens when the guests have gone home, the party’s over and it’s just you and your new partner left with each other? Unfortunately, too many people spend a lot of time preparing for the wedding and not a whole lot of time thinking about what comes after- like how to actually make the marriage work successfully on a daily basis.

Today our guest is Kelly Saylor, a licensed professional counselor associate and marriage and family counselor associate with Healing Solutions Counseling Center in Charlotte, NC. According to Kelly, one of the most important things a married couple can do to help their relationship grow is to nurture the basic friendship they have with each other and the admiration they have for each other.

To find out more about Kelly and her practice, visit their website or call (704) 944-5530 t0 schedule an appointment.

If you and your partner are considering premarital or marital counseling, be sure to check out Healing Solutions’ programs here.

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Tagged as: compliments, engagement, habits, marital counseling, marriage, marriage habits, married life, premarital counseling, wedding

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The Simple Truth

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“Relationships aren’t destroyed by cataclysmic arguments. They are eroded by the little things that happen over time. We’re all excited when a relationship starts. We watch what we do. We edit our actions and mind our words. We gloss over the details because we love the dream of what could be. We sacrifice the now for what we want in the future. As our relationship grows, we get comfortable. We stop editing ourselves and return to our old habits… Respect is eroded through the forgetful actions that make you feel as if you don’t matter like you once did…. Yes, relationships usually end in cataclysmic fight, but that is not where they are torn apart”. This insider view of the deterioration of a relationship comes from author Jeff Cannon who believes that meditation is the solution to resolving this age-old dilemma.

Jeff Cannon is the author of the book The Simple Truth: Meditation and Minfulness for the Modern World. Jeff was a fast-track entrepreneur with a portfolio of successful businesses, multiple book publishings, produced documentaries and ran his own public relations agency. Then it all came to a crashing halt at the end of 2009. That day he woke up on a hospital bed recovering from a ten-hour surgery that removed six of seven brain tumors. A long time devotee of the marital arts and yoga, Jeff used meditation to reboot and retrain his brain. He learned firsthand how the brain is hard wired just as it had been 40,000 years ago. More important he learned how it could be reprogrammed through such practices as meditation and mindfulness. Jeff’s book is now available on Amazon.com. To find out more about Jeff Cannon you can visit his website online.

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All Aboard the Love Odyssey

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Could a week long couples cruise be the key to saving your marriage? Gilligan had it all wrong; it takes more than a 3-hour tour. In fact, it takes 7 days. A simple, relaxing 7 days on the water could be the solution you’ve been searching for to save your drowning marriage from ending up like the Titanic. When a marriage is in danger, most couples attend couples counseling as a possible solution. But what if there was an option that would allow for deeper discovery and understanding without the constrictions of a one-hour time limit?

In addition to being an experienced sailor, Dr. Bryce Kaye received his Bachelor’s in psychology from Columbia University, and his Masters and Doctorate in psychology form the University of Illinois. Bryce has published a book on marriage improvement called The Marriage First Aid Kit and is currently working on his new book, When Love & Anger Got Married: Human Paradox & Spiritual Growth. Bryce now has two private practices, the Cary Counseling Center in Cary, NC and the Oriental Counseling Center in New Bern, NC. From the nearby town of Oriental, NC, Bryce and his wife, Helen, run a company called Love Odyssey Charters in which they take one couple at a time on a week-long cruise to different ports of call along the rivers and sounds of North Carolina. While cruising with each couple, Bryce and Helen intensely coach the couple on how to save their troubled marriage. To find out more about Bryce Kaye and Love Odyssey Charters you can visit their website or call 919-460-2516 for more information or to make your reservation.

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Maintaining Mindfulness

You might ask, well what does that mean exactly? The idea of mindfulness is to be present to ourselves physically, emotionally, spiritually and literally in the moment. Being mindful involves focusing on your breathing and thoughts rather than projecting yourself into the future with worries and anxiety. Even though it’s natural to look to the future and worry about what might happen or what could happen, it’s not the best tactic for your mind. Doing so can often lead you to forget about, or concentrate less on the current moment. The moment you’re living in.
When life is plagued with disconnection and stress, things can get tough. Oftentimes the first things to suffer are relationships and family ties… which is why mindfulness can be so important. If couples and families learn to develop these critical skills, their communication, expression and intimacy abilities can flourish. Instead of thinking and worrying about the next fight in your relationship or the next big trip or next month’s bills, take a second to stop, breath, and focus on mindfulness.
Our guest today, Dr. Roz Heiko of Pediatric & Family Psychology P.A. in Cary, NC, is here to discuss some of her healing and coaching techniques. In helping people get back to a positive place in their lives and relationships, Roz encourages and teaches a level of discipline and mindful awareness.
To find out more about Roz and her practice, visit her website or call (919) 858-9692 to schedule an appointment.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download Tagged as: breathing, family, future, healing, kids, maintaining mindfulness, marriage, meditation, mind, mindful, mindfulness, positivity, relationships, spiritual
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Why Don’t You Understand?

Do you feel like the ways you and your partner think just don’t match up? Does it feel like it might be impossible to really understand each other? Susie Leonard Weller, author of Why Don’t You Understand?: Improve Family Communication with the 4 Thinking Styles
joins us to explain how we can improve our communication through understanding these different thinking styles.
Susie is a certified Thinking Styles Consultant and a life and spiritual coach who also teaches parenting and family management at the Community Colleges of Spokane. Her website is SusieWeller.com, and her book can be purchased there or from Parenting Press or Amazon. If you order it from her website, as a special offer, she’ll send you an autographed copy and pay for shipping expenses herself.
Additionally, Susie would like to offer a free resource with 30 tips on stress management. You can contact her by email at sweller@att.net or by phone at  (509) 255-6676 and she’ll send you a copy.
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Postpartum Blues

Are baby blues hurting your family and spouse? Some of us have spent our entire lives dreaming of what life would be like once we were all grown up. We planned out our weddings, our ideal mates, and our perfect nuclear family with 2.5 children. It is when life does not go exactly according to plan that we begin to panic and loose control of our lives. Childbirth can be one of those hazy moments in life. We plan for months about a new addition to the family, but once we welcome this new little bundle into the world, life doesn’t always become the sunshine-filled dream we expected.
Dr. Sara Rosenquist is a specialist in the field of dealing with postpartum depression in women, and couples. Sara’s book, After The Stork: The Couple’s guide to Preventing and Overcoming Postpartum Depression,
deals explicitly with these issues. Sara has a very extensive global background, which has allowed her to communicate easily with others. Over her lifetime Sara has lived in Tunisia, Argentina, Uruguay, Thailand, and El Salvador before coming back to the United States to study at Duke University, where she received her Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. To find out more about Dr. Sara Rosenquist you can visit her website or call 919-872-4648 for an appointment. Sara’s book, After The Stork: The Couple’s guide to Preventing and Overcoming Postpartum Depression, is available on Amazon.com.Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Here Comes the Judgment

They say that hindsight is 20/20. We often never see the real problems in a relationship until after they have exploded. With couples divorcing at an alarming rate, it may be time to call on a new relationship expert- someone who deals with divorce. There is no better way to learn than from your mistakes; or even better, the mistakes of others. Judge Lynn Toler has worked with divorcing couples for years. She has seen couples at their worst and has been able to use this experience for the good of all relationships.
Judge Lynn Toler is a graduate of Harvard University and The University of Pennsylvania Law School. She has elected and served as judge on the Cleveland Heights Municipal Court. Lynn has hosted such shows as Power of Attorney, Divorce Court,
and Decision House. Lynn is also a frequent guest on the NPR show News and Notes. With all of this going on, Lynn has somehow managed to write two books. Her first, My Mother’s Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius, as well as Put It In Writing, a book that gives readers concrete, conflict-free solutions to difficult situations that arise.  To find out more about Lynn, please visit www.JudgeLynn.com. You can catch Judge Lynn in action on Divorce Court, airing weekdays in syndication nationwide. To find out where to watch, check your local listings or go to www.divorcecourt.com.Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Hellacious Holidays: How to Deal With Your In-Laws

If the financial stress surrounding the holidays isn’t enough, there can always be a little more to count on with the arrival of extended family and in-laws, or the anticipation of making the yearly trek to the airport. Of course not everyone experiences tension with family members, but for those who do, when the issues come to a head during the holiday season there can be added stress with unwanted consequences.
For some people, the holidays can be a time when they become more acutely aware of the problems in their family either because they are spending more time together, or because previous holidays have been difficult and it opens old wounds. Whatever the situation or cause of the tension might be, the pressure can sometimes be too much to handle. The beauty in all of it, however, is that change and healing is possible. The holiday season and the arrival of in-laws truly don’t have to be so demanding and worrying.
Our guest today, Dr. Katrina Kuzyszyn-Jones of KKJ Forensic and Psychological Services in Durham, NC, is here to offer advice to couples and families on how to deal with holiday stress.
To find out more about Katrina and her practice, visit her website or call (919) 493-1975 to make an appointment.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download Tagged as: couples, disagreement, family, holiday season, holidays, in-laws, marriage, stress, tension
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Where’s My Fairy Tale Ending?

Do you feel disappointment that your marriage isn’t the storybook romance you’d hoped for? Do you find yourself wondering if maybe your partner isn’t the one you were meant to live happily ever after with after all? Jon and Beverly Meyerson are here to talk about what “happily ever after” really means – what really happens after the fairytale wedding, and what you can do to ensure your own happy ending with your spouse.
Jon and Beverly are a married couple who have helped hundreds of other couples both together and on their own – Jon is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Beverly is a Relational Coach – and are the authors of a weekly relationship newsletter and the book After the Glass Slipper: 8 Proven Steps to Lasting Love
.
You can find them online at AfterTheGlassSlipper.com, where you can find out more about their book, their advice column, and more. After the Glass Slipper
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Lessons Learned From TV Lovers: Improving Your Marriage With Television

One of the greatest American pastimes for individuals, couples, and families continues to be checking out what is on television. We love TV! Whether you’re trying to relax or looking for information on a topic, there is always a show for you.
What about a show for marriage? The pre-scripted sitcom shows of the last fifty years have proven to be a very useful tool in teaching the world what marriage is really about. Does your marriage have what it takes to stand up against famous sitcom sweeties like Mike and Carol Brady from the The Brady Bunch?
“There are actually a lot of great nuggets of wisdom that we can learn from analyzing some of the relationship on TV. You can tell yourself that you’re doing something productive after all when you’re sitting there watching your favorite TV shows,” says Dr. Wynns.
Dr. Kristin Wynns is a child and adolescent psychologist who owns an adolescent specialty private practice in Cary, NC called Wynns Family Psychology. Dr. Wynns and her staff provide therapy and testing services for children, teens, and parents. Dr. Wynns is also the founder of a parenting website called NoWimpyParenting.com with services available to help parents struggling with behavior and discipline problems at home. Dr. Wynns keeps her skills in marriage psychology tuned at home with her husband of 13 years.
To find out more about Dr. Kristen Wynns and Wynns Family Psychology, you can visit them online or call  919-467-7777 for an appointment.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download Tagged as: Improve Marriage, marriage, Romance, Sitcome Romance, Sitcoms, Television, Television Romance, TV Romance
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31 Days to a Happy Husband

What have you done for ME lately? Does that sound familiar? Chances are, that question does sound familiar. And it’s often right out of the mouth of wives who also might ask- why should I be nice to you if you’re not nice to me? But maybe those are the wrong questions to be asking. Sometimes, a big part of having a happy marriage is having a happy husband.
More often than not, kids and careers take priority over the marriage, and husbands and wives end up becoming more like roommates instead of best friends and lovers. When couples get overwhelmed with daily life tasks and the little things turn into big things, they might feel like they have no time to nurture their marriage and each other. Sometimes they even feel hopeless about rekindling their original flame. If you are feeling like your marriage is becoming more disconnected, tense, and unhappy altogether, perhaps the first step is changing your attitude toward your husband.
Today’s guest is author and public speaker, Arlene Pellicane. She’s been featured on shows like The Hour of Power, The 700 Club, and TLC’s Home Made Simple. We’ll be talking about Arlene’s book, 31 Days to a Happy Husband
, and she’ll give us all a few pointers and tips on improving marriages that are just going through the motions.
To find out more about Arlene, her books and her speaking events, visit her website here.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download Tagged as: books, careers, happiness, happy husband, Happy Marriage, husband, kids, marriage, success, tips, wife
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